I’ve been called into subbing a lot and I’ve also started a new business, so I am extremely busy. And all the activities I love to do with my free time has been pushed to the side while I balance work, my social life, and putting effort into my appearance. I know that last part may sound vain, but I feel more confident when I look great, and I’m also impressed with myself most days. I forget to acknowledge that most of the time.
I also wonder if I try too hard at school, and if so, is there such a thing as trying too hard if you hope to potentially get hired as a teacher in the near future.
You sink your heart into something, or maybe you could say you dive or jump with arms wide open, giving your heart, no matter what the final result will be. My heart hands out love. I feel like I am the most huggable teacher in the school. Again, I wonder if I hug too much. I’d like to believe I am being myself.
I do appreciate the experience subbing gives me. I realize there are two factors I would like to exercise. The first being structure. Without a classroom, I think this is very difficult to define and practice. The second is personal and professional. I wonder if I could be too personal with my students. I love to give hugs, I love to talk about everything. I even have a student that tells me she loves me every time she sees me. For now I am excusing it, that as a sub, it’s okay! Boundaries will be set when necessary. For now, I can be personal.
So about being personal, I found myself crying today when a teacher told me her son died in a car accident when he was 21. I’m overly emotional this time of month, but I literally teared up all day. It’s like my heart overflows with joy, so much that it just gushes, releasing the pressure to my tear ducts. I fan my eyes quickly so no one sees. I think I am overly in tune with not only my emotions, but everyone else’s, also.
That is all for now. I’ve vented a lot for one post. Tah Tah!