Here I am

It’s been a crazy turn of events this past month. I didn’t land the job I loved in NY, and I keep telling myself that it wasn’t meant to be. It was heart breaking to say the least, but you live and learn.

Other than that, I didn’t think that the north country could offer me anything anymore, besides the love and support from my family and friends, and please forgive me because I say it with ease, but Massachusetts is my escape and I plan to grow and learn here. I am from MA originally, born and raised here for sixteen years, until my mother couldn’t afford the cost of living any longer. We moved to NY and the friends I made after week one are still my very closest and dearest friends. I do miss them, but it’s nice to know I have their support on my future endeavors.

Anyway, here… I am learning so much about how to be more confident in myself, I am getting into extreme shape, and I am becoming ever more open minded then I already am, and I have one hell of an open mind. I get to spend my days on the lake with my fabulous family and right now I am just enjoying myself.

Although… I feel like I am in a midlife crisis. I was almost certain that I was going to land that job I so badly wanted. I had people pulling for me, they called me to sub often, etc, and when my future didn’t pan out like I imagined, I soon had the whole world in my hands. Now this isn’t awful. I am grateful that I don’t have any restrictions (besides finances). I have no children, no owned property, and I have the freedom to go and be where I want. This feeling is overwhelming and I try not to stress every day, but it is frightening.

I’ve always been very versatile. I can adjust to my surroundings, meet and greet people, affect them without my knowledge and I am naturally a great influence. I find it ironic actually, because I lack confidence. I can tell you now that my family here in MA doesn’t lack at all with this quality, so after spending a few months with these people, I can tell that my skin will get tougher and I can fully be that awesome Miss Miller I am meant to be.

Other than that, I have no idea where my future lies. My mantra is whatever is meant to be will be. Although I am telling myself that, it feels different when you are in such a position.

Much love and hope,
Miss Miller

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Augmented Reality

I always had the idea that technology would eventually take us here, and to think beyond that is beyond me! I always think, “What will they come out with next?”

If you were to think of it in the perspective of an educator, where will you be in 20 years? What will technology be like then, and will it be just as easy to adapt to it as it is now? Will it always blow my mind? With these devices, what can the government control?

I have no idea what tomorrow brings, and I usually go with the flow, but this just takes to me to a whole other level.

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Turning Tables

Me: (Giving spelling test) “Number 2, completely. It is completely normal to like chocolate.”
Student: What was number 1?

Today was not even that challenging, yet more annoying and frustrating than anything else. I felt like the students managed the classroom in the worst way. My intention is to not bash the teacher I subbed for, especially since I am a rookie, but I got the impression that this teacher allows her students to take reign in the classroom and I have never experienced anything like that before. My head was literally throbbing when I left.

I must say that I think I handled it pretty well. For the first time I feel like I am not being too hard on myself, and for the first time I see the flip side. No, for real. Now I see what terrible classroom management leads to…. Of course I would second guess myself. Was it only crazy because there was a sub? because it is Friday? and is or was there a full moon!?

But then again, I feel so sure that the management isn’t properly maintained. I could sit here and tell you all the reasons why my day was not okay, or talk about all the great things that did happen, but I don’t feel like talking or thinking about it anymore.

There is one thing I would like to say as a final word. Those students that are so well behaved and actually want to learn are robbed from. Their time is stolen when I continually have to stop to redirect the students that either won’t listen or don’t care enough to do the work or are too busy talking. Those poor students have to suffer consequences due to other peoples actions and choices. This can be prevented with proper classroom management. I am not even a parent, but if I was, I would not want my child in that classroom. I would pull them out if I knew what the teacher didn’t provide for her students/my child. I am still shaking my head about it.

The tables have been turned and it was probably one of the best lessons I could have ever learned as an educator. My mind feels like it has been blown up, on a few different levels.

A nap is so necessary.
Much love,
Miss Miller

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Tough love

Oh this tough love thing is a challenge for such a sappy happy friendly girl like me.

I have no children, although I have been around children my whole life. I guess I’ve never had to really discipline so much. I’ve never had MY OWN classroom to experience that. But here is my latest lesson on being an educator.

I met with a teacher the other day, to talk about some things I felt that I needed to work on as an educator, and she gave me the necessary feedback that I needed to hear.

Basically, I realized that I am the nice teacher that students walk all over.  Let’s be honest,  it’s mostly because of my personality. I take after my mother, a soft heart and usually can’t say no. : ) It’s not that I’m not an effective teacher. I have all the skills and knowledge, but also the characteritic to BE a great professional educator. I must say that today was such an important day for me, like a mini milestone.

I taught fifth grade full day, and man oh man, the discipline I had to do. I did my best to apply positive reinforcement, but I also had to follow through with consequences, and it really isn’t as terrible as I thought. Keep in mind, it is Friday, and a lot of the students took several bathroom and drink breaks. I’m working on it!!! The best part was, we got all of the work done, it wasn’t so chatty and chaotic, and I could tell that student were grasping what ‘we’ were learning. I say we because I feel like I am in fifth grade all over again, just more advanced and experienced. A lot of the content was a refresher for me, and I enjoyed that.

Because I feel like I am rambling, I want to finish with this. I will never again allow myself to be the teacher that students can walk all over. It is okay to be strict, and students will not resent or hate you for it. The most important thing I’ve learned, thanks to my new mentor and my latest experiences, is that you need to be and act like a serious professional, even if you aren’t that experienced. Without respect from the students, your classroom cannot be managed, which translates to students not getting the knowledge that they need and should get.

It’s been real, but it’s about to get serious, and I am excited to keep applying this new insight and reality.

Much love. Miss Miller

Check out this tough love action going on between a mama bear and her cub!

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Stuck in a rut attitude

I understand why some people say they hate winter. I get it, the snow, the driving in the snow, the cold weather, the colds and flus, and lack of vitamin d. Some call it the  winter blues, but I’d like to think I’m stuck.

I’ve been stuck in a rut physically, mentally and emotionally. When will I be free?

Image

image retrieved: clubdinein.com

Do you see yellow flower trying to burst out with color?!? Yeah, I’m the one blocking her way. Winter just started but it feels like it has been longer, which I think is a normal feeling. I have so much time on my hands, and with being sick every other week, I spend a lot of my time at home. It gets dark quick, and I can tell my moods are trying to adjust.

However, the girl I tutor for called and spring semester starts on MONDAY!!! Which means my days will be more occupied with actual challenging mental work. I look forward to it because the girl I tutor teaches me so much about myself, but I find that my patience sometimes get short with her. This semester I will be more focused on the fact that not only do I get to live platonically and go to college for free through tutoring (sixth year straight!), but I get to earn money while helping out another student. I know the months will go by quick, and before you know it, it is May yet again.

When it is May, I will be a yellow flower bursting with joy and sunshine. I love that side of me. I feel contagious and energized.

As for now, yeah, I guess I could curl up, hibernate, and wait for the sun to shine, OR I could motivate myself. It honestly depends on the day.

Much love. Miss Miller

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Freedom Writers

Experience brings success.

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Dyslexia

This video is hard for me to grasp because I cannot imagine what a child or anyone with dyslexia has to deal with, especially since literacy holds so much significance in life.

I also saw a clip on Glee (only my favorite television show) that I wish I could share, but the scene is basically a special education teacher giving a literacy assessment to a high school student, only to diagnose him with dyslexia. My heart is quickly triggered by these two clips because the special third grade student I often talk about may have dyslexia. What an unimaginable disability to have. The scene from Glee gives the audience such a strong sense of how a person with dyslexia assimilates, and uses other skills and memorization to “get by.”

Glee Moment:
Ryder: “Am I dumb?”
Assessment lady: “No, you are actually very smart.”

That special boy I talk about a lot is extremely gifted in many ways. Because we have a special bond, I try to help him pursue his passions, and right now that is his love of drawing. He gave me a notebook full of his own illustrations, and my thoughts:

1. He has discovered a new passion of drawing.
2. He needs to use this new interest as a resource and strategy for grasping literacy.

I need to do more research on this topic. Where to begin?

Buenos noches! Miss Miller

P.S. This post is old, I know, but I found a video that I would like to share on finding your passion when you have dyslexia. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugFIHHom1NU [The link set up is being stubborn so I will fix this later, but there is the video. It totally reminds me of my little guy.

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