This morning, a teacher and I were talking, and she started off by saying that she wanted to tell me something because I was wonderful. She said that some of the teachers don’t want me subbing in their classroom because my discipline isn’t strong enough. THAT right there struck a chord, not only because, wow, that sucks, but I had no idea. I asked her how many teachers and she said that didn’t matter. (Mind you, it is a small school) My heart got a little defensive, but I understand that she wants the best for me. I asked her how many teachers said this and she said it didn’t matter. Hmm… I do have assumptions.
To defend myself, I must say that discipline and what I like to call tough love is one of my main goals I work on every time I enter the building, which is evident with my recent posts. Not to mention I am a substitute teacher. It also showed me that one of my best strengths is critiquing myself. I always knew this, but she reassured me today, for sure.
If only she knew that I try so hard to be more firm with students every time I sub, and if she knew that I am doing everything in my power to be the best teacher. Plus I feel like it is more difficult when you are always changing classrooms. I will admit, discipline is probably one of my biggest weaknesses, and I am okay with it, because it is something I am constantly striving to better, and it is getting better, slowly. I know I keep blaming my heart, but it is, and I will learn when I have my own classroom what works for me and my students, and what doesn’t. It takes a lot of practice and time, and I am aware of this.
I haven’t been working so much, so I applied to work at another school where they are desperate for subs. Also, my other job with tutoring has been cancelled for the time being due to health issues with my client, and it is depressing. I haven’t been making much money, but I do make enough to pay my bills. I also feel blessed because my family and friends are always treating me.
I grew up with a single mom and when we were struggling with finances, she would always say “Everything will work out”, and because of that, I feel at ease when it comes to finances, and about life in general. Thanks, mom.
It’s… I don’t know what term to use, but at the end of the day, I brought my keys to the office and they asked me to work such and such days. Of course I do, and then she said that the teacher had requested certain subs, and I was on that list. I was quite surprised because I’ve never actually subbed for this teacher before.
More to come, and I’ve been thinking that I want to create some videos and share them with you. I just created a digital story on Haiti, and I hope to get that on here eventually. I just need to figure out how exactly. AND, I want to post song/dance videos… The Princess Pat, Five Little Monkeys, etc.
One day at a time, and just breathe. I must say, being a sub is probably one of the most difficult jobs I have ever had.